Cinematic Sins

CONTINUATION:


Patreon.

And for the first time in a while, something in me felt a tiny bit like hope again.

Not because I want to take ERASE ME WHOLE away from YouTube.

Actually…

the opposite.

I thought:

What if there were a way for the people who want to help this series continue to help fund it… without me locking the story away from everybody else?

Because one option would be easy.

I could take ERASE ME WHOLE somewhere else.

Put every new chapter behind payment.

And suddenly if you wanted to know what happened next, you would see:

Sorry. Unlock this episode first.

I don’t want that.

I do not want somebody who has been here from Episode 1 to suddenly be unable to follow Vaughn and Lan because they don’t have money that month.

So the main cinematic story will stay public.

That is the promise.

The Patreon is not me saying:

“Pay me or there will be no story for you.”

It is not a ransom note.

It is not a ticket proving you are a “real fan.”

Please never misunderstand me that way.

If you cannot afford anything?

Stay here.

Watch.

Comment.

Share.

Tell somebody else about the series.

Make theories.

Come yell at Vaughn.

Come yell at me. 😭

You are still part of this.

But if you can help…

and you have ever watched one of these episodes and thought:

I want this story to keep going.

Then that is why I created the Patreon.

I created a $3 Founding Supporter membership because even three dollars, multiplied by enough people, can actually become generation credits.

It can become another month of a production tool.

Another render.

Another scene.

Another chance for me to try again when the first generation comes out looking like Vaughn was assembled by a committee of drunk surgeons. 😭

There is also a $7 Founding Producer membership for those who want to come further behind the screen with me.

That is where I can share more of the production itself:

the failed generations,

the visual experiments,

the scenes that almost existed,

script excerpts,

dialogue drafts,

character psychology,

lore,

production diaries,

music development,

deleted ideas,

and all the strange little decisions that happen before you ever see the clean version on YouTube.

And then there is a $20 Executive Producer level.

I need to say this carefully because $20 is not small money to me.

I know what money costs.

So I would never look at somebody supporting me at that level as just another number on a dashboard.

That tier is the closest circle around production.

Deeper behind-the-scenes material.

Unreleased concepts.

More intimate creator notes.

Future project development.

And because the Patreon is an adult space, eventually some selected mature/NSFW bonus material that cannot comfortably exist on YouTube.

But even there:

story first.

Always.

If Vaughn and Lan go somewhere darker, dirtier, rawer, stranger or completely unhinged…

it still has to be them.

😭

And I need to say the most uncomfortable part now.

Without support, I genuinely do not know if I can afford Episode 3.

That is not a threat.

Please.

I need you to understand that.

I am not standing here saying:

Give me money or I’m taking your story away.

I am telling you the financial reality because pretending otherwise would be dishonest.

I have already emptied too much of myself and my own money into this.

And I cannot promise another episode using money I do not have.

I wish love for this project could buy credits.

I wish your comments could pay the subscriptions.

I wish the views themselves were currently funding the production the way I once thought they would.

But they are not.

Not right now.

So if this story continues from here…

I need help carrying it.

That hurts my pride more than I know how to explain.

I wanted to be able to do everything myself.

I wanted to come here with bigger episodes.

Better quality.

Longer runtimes.

More scenes.

And just say:

Look what I made.

Instead I am sitting here asking strangers to believe in something that mostly still exists inside my head.

And maybe that is why my hands are shaking.

Because whatever you think you have seen of ERASE ME WHOLE so far?

It is not even a grain of salt compared to the world I built.

You have barely met them.

You have barely touched Mnemosyne.

You have barely seen what Vaughn becomes.

You have barely understood Lan.

You have not seen what memory does to them.

You have not seen the people who are coming.

You have not seen how ugly this love gets.

How poisonous.

How ruinous.

How strangely beautiful.

I need mercy.

I need a chance.

I need the chance to show you the world that has been living inside my head all this time.

I don’t want Vaughn and Lan to become two characters I once loved and then had to shove into some forgotten corner of my brain because I could no longer afford to show them to anybody.

That thought destroys me.

Maybe Patreon works.

Maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe ten people join.

Maybe nobody does.

I genuinely don’t know.

And I am scared to find out.

But at least this way…

I know I tried one more door.

So if you want to help me make Episode 3:


🖤 PATREON: patreon.com/CcinematicSinsFilms?utm_medium=unknown…


And if you cannot—

thank you anyway.

For Episode 1.

For 200,000+ views.

For every comment.

For coming back during those weeks I disappeared.

For the person who kept checking whether I had died. 😭

For telling me the kitchen better still be open because you were starving.

For reminding me that somebody was waiting on the other side of my screen.

And most importantly:

thank you for giving this story somewhere to exist outside my own head.

I don’t know exactly what happens from here.

For once, I’m not going to pretend I do.

But I know what I want.

I want to keep going.

I want to make Episode 3.

And 4.

And 5.

And 100.

I want to show you what ERASE ME WHOLE actually is.

I want CinematicSinsFilms to become everything I saw when I started this channel with so much stupid hope in my chest.

And if enough of you decide you want to build it with me…

maybe I still get that chance.

THE STORY STAYS PUBLIC.
YOU HELP BUILD IT.

Thank you for listening to me.

And I’m sorry this post was so long/heavy.

I just couldn’t lie to you anymore.

🖤🌹

— Mirabel / GhostGoddess
CinematicSinsFilms






[ I’m attaching some of the screenshots from these months below.

Not because I think I need to prove that I suffered enough.

But because I know what I’m describing sounds ridiculous when you haven’t watched it happen in real time.

I really did reach the finish line.

I really did get the invitation.

I really did spend weeks going back and forth with support trying to understand what was wrong.

And I really did eventually open an email that said “Partnership Disabled.”

So no — this isn’t me inventing a sad story because I opened a Patreon.

This is what happened.]

1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 12

Cinematic Sins

I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION — WHERE I WENT, WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHAT COMES NEXT FOR ERASE ME WHOLE.

Honestly…

My hands are shaking as I type this.

My eyes are burning because I’m trying very hard not to let myself start crying again. Heaven knows I have done enough of that already, and it has never fixed a thing.

This post is probably going to be messy.

Definitely messy.

And I’m sorry for that in advance.

I also know some people may turn away from ERASE ME WHOLE after reading this.

People come here to escape their own problems.

To watch a story.

To lose themselves somewhere else for a few minutes.

Not to listen to some sinking creator talk about how badly things are going behind the screen.

I understand that.

But I need this written somewhere.

Because if, one day, you come back to this channel…

six months from now…

a year from now…

and Episode 2 is still sitting there like time froze…

or you cannot find another trace of me at all…

I need you to know something.

I tried.

God.

I tried with everything in me.

And it is costing me every fibre of myself to show this vulnerable side of me to people I don’t even know personally.

But I owe you this much.

When I started this channel a few months ago, I started it with so much joy.

So much hope.

So much stupid excitement. 🥺

So much vision.

So much fire.

I believed in this.

I believed in myself.

I believed in ERASE ME WHOLE.

I worked until I got sick.

There were nights I barely slept because I wanted one more scene done.

One more render.

One more correction.

One more tiny detail nobody watching would probably even notice.

I broke my back with a smile on my face because somewhere inside me I kept thinking:

One day this will work.

One day I’ll qualify for monetization.

One day the thing I’m spending all this money and energy creating will finally be able to help fund itself.

And then…

you happened.

You found the story.

You watched.

You subscribed.

You came back.

You wrote theories.

You screamed at Vaughn.

You adopted Lan like somebody had personally handed you custody papers. 😭

And suddenly I reached the YouTube monetization requirements.

God.

\I was so happy that night.

I cried.

My family celebrated with me.

My mum was happy.

People congratulated me.

Everybody kept telling me they knew I could do it.

And for one night, I genuinely thought:

I made it to the finish line.

Come into my shoes for a second.

Have you ever worked for something with everything you had?

Reached the end?

Seen the medal waiting for you?

Started celebrating because finally — finally — everything you sacrificed meant something…

and then watched somebody take the medal away before it ever touched your hands?

That is what this has felt like.

No. more than that.

And there is one thing I need to make very clear:

I was NOT demonetized.

Because I was never monetized in the first place.

Somehow that hurts worse.

I met the eligibility requirements.

every single one.

The channel had no strike stopping me.

Everything I create here comes from my very sweat. EVERYTHING IS MY original work — written, developed, produced and built through months of work.

And then my AdSense application was not approved.

Okay.

Fine.

I thought there must be something I needed to fix.

So I tried.

Jesus Christ, I tried.

God. i fucking tried.

I went through AdSense.

I went through YouTube.

I followed instructions.

I checked everything I could possibly check.

I spoke to support again.

And again.

And... again.

Different agents.

Different case IDs.

At one point I had spoken to around nine different support people.

And I kept asking the same question:

Please. Just tell me what is wrong so I can fix it.

Please.

If I did something wrong, tell me.

If something on the application is wrong, point at it.

If I need to correct something, I will correct it.

Just give me something to work with.

And I never got that answer.

No clear violation.

No useful explanation.

Just…

not approved.

How do you fix something when nobody can tell you what is broken?

How?

I cried.

Something in me genuinely died during that period.

But then...

your comments kept coming.

And I don’t know how dramatic this sounds, but some days they genuinely became oxygen.

Because my knees were already weak.

And honestly?

So was my bank account.

I have put thousands into this project.

Software.

Subscriptions.

Generation credits.

Editing tools.

Music.

AI tools.

Rendering.

Data.

OpenArt.

Seedance.

CapCut.

ChatGPT.

Claude.

Grok.

Month after month.

Scene after scene.

And I have still never received one cent from YouTube.

Not one.

Episode 1 crossed 200,000 views.

And I have made $0 in YouTube ad revenue from it.

Zero.

And sometimes I would be sitting there working on a scene and just…

stop.

And stare at my screen.

And ask myself:

What am I even doing?

There is a very strange kind of pain in working incredibly hard on something while knowing the thing you originally believed would eventually help fund it… currently will not.

And you still keep going.

Because people are waiting.

Because you promised yourself.

Because you cannot bear to fail the people who believed in you.

Because the world in your head refuses to die quietly.

So all you have left is hope.

And eventually…

I got tired.

Not tired of Vaughn.

Not tired of Lan.

Not tired of this story.

Please understand that.

I got tired of fighting everything around them.

I didn’t even want to tell you any of this.

For weeks I kept thinking:

“Maybe tomorrow it will finally be fixed.”

“Maybe... just maybe... just one more email.”

“Maybe one more support conversation.”

“Maybe one more appeal.”

That was why I made that earlier post telling you Google and I were having our little boxing match.

I was still trying to laugh.

Still trying to make it light.

Still telling you:

Please don’t leave. I haven’t abandoned the story.

And I meant that.

I still mean it.

But somewhere along the way the fight became bigger than I knew how to carry.

Then YouTube removed the monetization/partnership invitation they had sent me before.

boy, was i dead. [ i'll be attaching some screenshots... well]


I don’t think I can properly explain what seeing that message did to me.

I had already reached the requirements.

I had already celebrated.

My family had celebrated.

Somebody believed in me enough to put his own money behind this story.

And three months later…

not only had I still not earned a penny…

I was watching the thing I thought I had finally reached disappear in front of me.

That person who believed in me and joined hands with me to bring erase me whole to life?

He has not received a dime back from this project.

Not a penny.

Not a cent.

And neither have I.

Not for the sleepless nights

Not for the burnt brain cellls...


And I carry that too.

Then there is Episode 2.

I need to tell you something I genuinely hate admitting.


You see... Episode 2 was rendered in 480p.

And it hurts me.

It hurts badly.

Because I know what I wanted that episode to look like.

I know what I am capable of making.

I know what this story looks like in my head.

And sometimes I look at what I was forced to settle for and I feel ashamed.

Not because I didn’t work.

God knows I worked.

But because I know I could do more if I had the resources to do more.

Episode 2 is only about seven minutes long.

I had an entirely different title and thumbnail direction I wanted to use.

But I changed it because the title would have promised story beats I literally did not have enough generation credits to reach.

Think about that.

I had to change the marketing because I could not afford to produce far enough into the story to justify what I wanted to call the episode.

That is where I am.

And this is the part where I need to stop pretending hope alone can pay for production.

Because it cannot.

I can love this story until my chest hurts.

I can write until sunrise.

I can have an entire universe living in my head.

But OpenArt does not accept passion as payment.

Seedance does not accept tears.

CapCut does not accept “please, my audience is waiting.”

Neither do all the other tools I need to make this thing.

😭

And I have pumped almost everything I can personally put into this.

So one day, while I was sitting in the middle of all this mess…

I had an idea.





[ PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SEE NEXT POST: youtube.com/post/Ugkx1HGv_r5Rb6Fdx7tLTixX-5VIzmx5Y… ]

1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 9

Cinematic Sins

So… Episode 2 is officially back in production. 🥹

But before we discuss that, I need you all to understand that Lan nearly lost his scalp today.

Yes.

His SCALP.

I was working on a scene from Episode 2 and writing instructions for the video AI.
There’s this small, soft moment where Vaughn leans down into Lan’s hair and breathes in his scent.

Very romantic.

Very dark-romance.

Very Vaughn.

Apparently my AI teammate Crey took one look at the way I'd worded it and basically went:

“Mirabel… if you write it like that, the video AI might decide Vaughn needs to VACUUM LAN'S SCALP.”

...

"..."

Excuse me?

VACUUM HIS WHAT??? 😭

That was it.

Production ended.

Sanity left the building.

Somewhere between me crying, wheezing and probably convincing my neighbours that I was totally not mad since they were ready to ship me into a psychiatric van, we accidentally created:

✨ VAUGHN'S SCALP VACUUM 3000™ ✨

Industrial-strength nose.

100% dandruff extracted.

No survivors.

😭😭😭

And because apparently God had abandoned the production room by that point, we remembered another cursed filmmaking correction Crey made.

T0T

I had written that the final camera should pull away into a “drone view” of the boys inside Vaughn's penthouse.

Crey politely informed me that unless I intended to have AN ACTUAL DRONE FLYING AROUND VAUGHN'S LIVING ROOM, what I wanted was a high-angle crane shot.

Naturally, my brain immediately pictured the drone entering the penthouse...

...and stealing Austine's food before he could finish it.

And so now we have:

AUSTINE VS. THE DRONE: BATTLE FOR THE LAST BITE.

😭

I cannot defend this production anymore.

I'm just the director.



Okay. Jokes aside for a second. ❤️

ERASE ME WHOLE — Episode 2: The Boy Who Stalked the Devil is finally, officially back in production.

And God, it feels good to be able to say that.

I know I've been quiet.

What you don't always see behind an upload is how much happens when the screen goes dark. The last couple of months have been difficult. Between the channel and monetization problems, the cost of producing these films, and honestly just reaching a point of complete mental exhaustion, there was a stretch where I genuinely didn't know how I was supposed to keep making something this expensive while everything around the channel felt uncertain.

So I stopped.

Not because I stopped loving this story.

I never did.

I stopped because I needed to figure out how to keep building it without destroying myself trying to do it.

And quietly, behind the scenes, I've been doing exactly that.

Writing.

Reworking.

Testing.

Learning new filmmaking tools.

Fighting AI characters who occasionally forget their own faces.

And, as you can see, ... protecting Lan's scalp from Vaughn's industrial-strength nose.

But I'm creating again.

Episode 2 is being made.

And this time, I want to bring you guys into the kitchen with me a little more.

Not only when everything is polished and beautiful and ready to premiere. I want you to see some of this too—the experiments, the ridiculous failures, the filmmaking discoveries, the characters coming alive, the moments that make me scream at my computer, and occasionally the completely accidental memes that happen while we're building this world.

Because you've been part of ERASE ME WHOLE from the moment you decided these characters mattered to you.

Episode 1 became something far bigger than I expected, and while I've been away, I haven't forgotten the people waiting on the other side of that screen.

So...

I'm still cooking. 🍳

Vaughn is still terrifying.

Lan still has his scalp.

Austine may or may not still have his dinner.

And Episode 2 is coming.

And honwstly...

Thank you for still being here.

Seriously.

We're back. ❤️

— Mirabel
__ CinematicSinsFilms

(Crey has been temporarily banned from naming household appliances.)

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1 month ago | [YT] | 34

Cinematic Sins

Honestly...

I didn't want to make this post.

The last thing I ever wanted was to disappear right when this story- ERASE ME WHOLE- was starting to find all of you.

I kept telling myself,

"Just give it another day."

"Maybe tomorrow everything will be fixed."

Then another day passed.

...and another.

...and another.

Before I knew it, almost two weeks had gone by.

I've seen the comments.

"Where's Episode 2?"

"Are you okay?"

"Did you disappear?"

One of you even asked if I d!ed. 😭

No.

I'm still here.

Still breathing.

Still writing.

Still obsessing over these two idiots more than is probably healthy.

The truth is...

I've been dealing with one of the most frustrating technical issues I've ever experienced since starting this channel.

What should've taken a few minutes somehow turned into days of troubleshooting, support chats, account investigations, technical errors, broken pages, endless loading screens, and enough browser tabs to make my laptop question its life choices.

I've spoken with multiple YouTube Support specialists.

I've spent hours every day trying to fix everything.

I've gone from thinking it was one problem... to finding out it was another... then another.

Every time I thought I'd reached the finish line...

another door closed.

ToT

It's been frustrating in ways I can't even explain.

Because every day I spend fighting with this is another day I'm not spending creating.

And that's the part that's been eating at me.

So for a little while...

I simply couldn't continue the way I wanted to.

And I hated every second of it.

Because while all this was happening...

Vaughn and Lan never stopped existing in my head.

I've still been thinking about them.

Rewriting scenes.

Changing dialogue.

Making things even worse for them.

(You're welcome. 🙂)

I've also been reading your comments every single day.

The theories.

The essays.

The threats over the cliffhanger. 😭

The demands for Episode 2.

Some of you have genuinely been checking in on me every day.

And for that,

Thank you.

Seriously...

Thank you.

It means more than I can explain.

It makes my heart... palpitate.

Because this story...

...this world...

...these characters...

have been living in my head every single day.

I've been seeing every single one of you who comes back to check if episode two has been aired...

Every theory.

Every scream.

Every demand for Episode 2.

Every "I NEED MORE."

And i'm so, so sorry for this delay.

Trust me...

Nobody wants Episode 2 online more than I do.

I'm not giving up on this series.

Not even close.

If anything, all of this has reminded me just how much I love creating for you guys.

So while Google and I continue our little boxing match... 🥊😭...

I'm asking for one thing.

Please don't leave.

Please don't think I've abandoned this story.

Because I haven't.

The moment this roadblock is behind me...

We're diving straight back into Vaughn and Lan's world.

And I promise you...

The story waiting for you is worth the wait.

Again, this is not a safe story. Not a soft one.

Thank you for checking on me.

Thank you for caring enough to ask where I've been.

And thank you for giving this little story a home.

I'll keep updating you until we're back.

I miss you guys.

Really.

And I miss writing for you.

🖤🌹



One more thing...

While working behind the scenes...

I may have accidentally stumbled across someone.

Or...

maybe he stumbled across us.

I wasn't planning to show him yet.

But now that he's here...

I have a question.

Is that...

a third man sitting beside Vaughn and Lan?

Hm.

I wonder what he's come to do.

I don't know but...

Should Lan... be worried?

Or should... Vaughn... be?

Hm...


I'll be reading every theory.🖤

See you in EPIC Episode two.

Muah!

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2 months ago | [YT] | 225

Cinematic Sins

Something is coming, CinemaSinners. ToT

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2 months ago | [YT] | 161

Cinematic Sins

Honestly...

I don't even know how to start this post.

Look, I have to be honest with all of you about something.

The night I posted Episode 1, I was genuinely terrified. I sat there genuinely convinced it wasn't good enough. I almost talked myself into deleting it twice. I thought: maybe the trailer was a fluke. Maybe people won't stay for the full story.

But guess what?

I was wrong.🥹

Completely, beautifully wrong.

Because then, y'all happened.🥹

And the numbers started coming in.

Let's look at some numbers, because I genuinely cannot process them alone anymore:

In just 4 days:

📖 Episode 1 passed 82,000 views.

🎬 The trailer climbed past 55,000 views.

🌹 More than 3,000 people joined this channel.

And over 300 comments have been pouring in asking for more.

More Vaughn.

More Lan.

💬 Over 500 comments — theories, screams, people telling me how this story is sitting in their chest

🖤 3,000 subscribers in just 10 days..🥹 those are not just numbers. Those are people... someone who decided to...stay. 🥹

To say I'm grateful would be an understatement.

I’m actually speechless.🥹

I've spent the last few days reading comments until my eyes hurt.

The theories.

The reactions.

The messages.

Every “when is Episode 2 dropping?”

The people already picking sides.

The people threatening me over cliffhangers and a sad ending. 😂

Every single one of them has meant more to me than you know.

Honestly, I don't know how to explain what reading those comments has felt like.

But those comments alone has kept me writing on nights I didn't think I had it in me.

And honestly y'all… I’m in tears typing this. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.

This story is so personal, and seeing so many of you already invested… it’s overwhelming in the best way.

But please hear me when I say this:

What you saw in Episode 1 is only the surface.

Episode 1 is barely the cover of the book.

It’s the calm before the storm. The world beneath it is much darker than it looks.
More vicious, i warn you, this is not a safe story. not a soft story. not your regular 'Dark romance'.

Right now it might still feel like a story about a letter, a girl named Yuna, A weird stalking tendency, a weird boy following someone he should never have followed and asking " What perfume do you use?"

But trust me — it gets so much darker, messier, and more painful. The obsession, the secrets, the regret, the things they’re willing to do to each other… this ride is going to twist you up, break your heart, and make your toes curl.

Vaughn and Lan’s story is only just beginning to show its teeth.

"ERASE ME WHOLE" wasn't a random series title.

So buckle up. You’re in for something dangerous.

.
.
.

I've also seen the endless comments about the series song.

Specifically...

"The Red Thread."

My days! y'all, this one genuinely shocked me.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time creating that song for this series.

When I was making that song, I never expected this much people to become this obsessed with it.

Yet somehow I’ve lost count of how many of you have asked for the full version.
{ blushes and grins devlishly.}

I know i know i love it too! 🤭

So tonight… I’m dropping the full song on the channel.

It's yours..🥹

But be warned: the lyrics might just ruin you.🖤


Annnd lastly, for the question I've probably seen more than any other:

"WHEN IS EPISODE 2?"

The goal is this Saturday.

(Or Sunday if production decides to personally test my sanity again. 😭)

This is just the beginning of something so rotten, so dark, so scary yet so beautiful, every episode will pull you deeper, ch0ke you harder, and ruin you deeper than the last.


Phew!

Thank you for believing in this story even when I was doubting it.

Thank you for believing in these characters.

And thank you for giving this little world a chance.

Thank you for the love, the patience, and the fire you’re giving me.

We’re still standing at the very beginning of something I hope will live in your heads for a long time.

If you’re here for the long haul… stay.

And oh, if you havn't seen episode one, why?? go watch it here:

https://youtu.be/ZeiZLBBsfok?si=WQzzg...

Hit subscribe, turn on notifications, and let’s go deeper together.

I read every comment. Keep them coming.

See you very soon in episode 2.

muah!🖤🌹

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3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 385

Cinematic Sins

✨💦🔥Deleting His Memories — The series [BTS]

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4 months ago | [YT] | 19

Cinematic Sins

🖤 New Release

Till We Meet Again… Old Friend

🎧 Full lyric video now live on Rotten Rooms
👉https://youtu.be/NtHH15z5Lr0?si=VacGO...

—

“We were just kids… what happened to us?”

Some people don’t leave your heart…
they just stop showing up in your life.

This one is for
the friends who slowly became strangers,
the ones who are still here… just too far away now,
and the ones who fell on the way…
the ones we’ll never see again.

For the memories that still feel alive.
For the names you don’t say out loud anymore.

—

🖤 Watch when it’s quiet.
When the memories come back without warning.

Drop a 🖤 if there’s someone you still miss.

#rottenrooms #nostalgicsongs #sadsongs #emotionalmusic #lonelysongs #memories #lostfriends #overthinkingmusic

5 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 10