my♡deerest

i've been trying to organize my room for the past few hours... looked away for two seconds and suddenly he's sitting right in the middle of the chaos ._. he wasn't helping, just supervising as always

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2 months ago | [YT] | 5

my♡deerest

alsoooo... after i've rewatched my concert videos i'll see if i can somehow turn them into a little concert vlog like i did for enhypen 😭 i honestly have no idea how much footage i took because i was way too busy screaming half the time lol.
and while i'm already here... i'm really sorry for disappearing for so long. life was honestly just a lot these past weeks. i really didn't want to make videos while constantly thinking "i should actually be studying right now" because that just takes all the fun out of it.
BUTTTT... I OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!!!! 🥹🥳
it still feels weird saying that out loud. after months of stressing over finals and wondering whether i'd actually make it through... it's finally over.
which also means... videos are finally back!! i already have way too many ideas floating around in my head haha. i've genuinely missed sitting down, editing and just making videos, so i can't wait to get started again

3 months ago | [YT] | 1

my♡deerest

sooo... i just got back from seeing bts in munich (d1) and i genuinely still can't wrap my head around the fact that i can finally say i've seen them live. like... they were ACTUALLY right there???
this was literally one of the best nights of my life. i'm not even exaggerating. they were unreal. i knew they'd be good, obviously, but HOW ARE THEY EVEN THAT GOOD????? their stage presence is actually ridiculous and seeing the seven of them together again just... i don't even have words. it felt so right. i missed this so much.
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SURPRISE SONGS BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE GOT BAEPSAE AND PIED PIPER?????? HELLO????? i actually lost my mind. and then jk with "du bist gut genug" 😭😭😭 i swear that man...
also the atmosphere????? i've never heard so many people sing that loudly in my life. every single song. EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. i had goosebumps so many times and i kept catching myself just looking around because... wow.
and ARMYs :') i met so many lovely people throughout the day. thank you for all the little conversations, all the freebies, everyone checking in on each other, helping each other out... i genuinely love this fandom so much.
my voice is completely gone, my feet are killing me, i've barely slept and the post-concert depression is already hitting lol. would i do it all again tomorrow? absolutely. without even thinking about it. aaah i want to go back already.

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3 months ago | [YT] | 1

my♡deerest

omg i feel like i just posted the last milestone and now there are already over 300 of you here … tysm for real 😭🤍

so i’m kinda sorry that i probably won’t be able to post much in the next weeks because i have a lot going on right now, but i’ll be back as soon as i can!!
and if there’s any content you’d like to see from me, feel free to let me know in the comments!! i’ll try my best to make it happen once i’m back

6 months ago | [YT] | 13

my♡deerest

tysm for 200 subs … actually 209 now 😭🫶🏼i really appreciate every single one of you, thank you for being here!!

also a little update on the heeseung videos, part 2 and 3 will be up soon!
part 2 is more of a reorganized version of my 1h compilation with the covers, so if you’ve already seen that one you can skip it if you want but part 3 will be all new, with weverse singing clips
ty again for all the support 🤍

6 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 11

my♡deerest

new video is up …
yesterday i went out and bought three of the “arirang” versions and unboxed them without knowing any of the inclusions. like i actually managed not to spoil myself 😭
i personally really love this album. i’ve always appreciated how they experiment with their music, and this one really reminded me why.
but let me know what you think about it!! and did you watch the comeback live? they did so well … and for once i didn’t cry sad tears but actually happy tears, especially during mikrokosmos. i missed seeing them perform together so much 🥺

and just to say … this doesn’t mean i’ve moved on from everything going on right now with heeseung and enha. i’m still just as sad and frustrated as before …
i’m also still working on the next parts of the heeseung appreciation series and i’ll try my best to get them out before i fall into exam stress soon!
i just wanted to appreciate something i’ve been waiting for, even while everything else still feels heavy and frustrating

6 months ago | [YT] | 5

my♡deerest

part 1 is finally up …
i’ve been sitting with a lot of emotions these past days, as many of us have, and i honestly didn’t really know how to deal with them. making this video was kind of my way of holding on to everything that means so much to me right now.
his voice … it’s something that stays. no matter what happens, it can’t just disappear. it’s in every song, every performance, every moment we’ve shared.
i think that’s why this part means so much to me. it’s a build-up from how their songs came to be, how he continued to grow with every comeback together with them, and how he supported them to get to where they are now. A place where he can really showcase himself alongside them, together.
i just really miss him … but i still believe somehow it’ll all work out in the end.
i hope you’re all doing okay 💙enha will always be 7

7 months ago | [YT] | 11

my♡deerest

sorry i haven’t posted anything the last two days. i’ve honestly been feeling really sick, not just mentally but physically as well. don’t worry though, i’m still very aware of everything that’s happening and all the new info and rumors. believe me, i can’t stop thinking about it for even a second and it’s really messing with me …
what makes it so hard is that there’s so much information everywhere, but no real way to know what’s actually true and what isn’t. everywhere you go online you’re reminded of the situation again and again (which is important, yes) but it’s also just a lot to deal with. all the unanswered questions, especially about how heeseung is doing right now, really get to me.

seeing little things like the members wearing his clothes and stuff … it just hurts
i’ll still make sure to answer your comments though. right now, especially with the weekend and not having much to distract me, my mind just keeps going back to it. and the people around me that i can talk to about this in person don’t really understand because they’re not into enha like that.
at this point i literally can’t leave the house without this guy (my cute little emotional support).
despite everything, i haven’t given up. if you can, please consider signing the petition: www.change.org/p/allow-heeseung-to-pursue-solo-act…
but please also take care of yourselves first and foremost. continue supporting the other six members while we keep fighting for heeseung.

#bringbackheeseung #ENHYPEN_is_7 #EnhypenIsSeven

7 months ago | [YT] | 12

my♡deerest

i just saw the statement reported by billboard and honestly… wtf belift ??
“We concluded that allowing Heeseung to focus fully on his career as a solo artist…” … we concluded?? what does that even mean? did Heeseung even get any real say in this? because the way this is worded just feels so wrong to me.
and them saying this was “planned for a while” also makes no sense. Nothing about this situation feels planned. everything about it feels sudden, nothing is adding up and it’s so freaking frustrating.
i also saw some screenshots from the fancalls and they all look so exhausted and sad … seeing them like that honestly hurts so much. i’m really thankful though that the engenes who attended were respectful and kind to them.
right now I’m just really worried about heeseung. i genuinely feel sick thinking about all of this.
i really hope he’s surrounded by people who care about him right now.

#ENHYPEN_is_7 #heeseung #enhypen

7 months ago | [YT] | 10

my♡deerest

engenes, i really hope all of you are okay and were at least able to get a little bit of rest. honestly, i’m still in denial and so frustrated with the lack of clarity about this whole situation … nothing about it feels right and it’s sooo hard to process.
i’ve been getting a few comments under my recent video thanking me for making it, and i honestly don’t even know how to deal with that right now. i’m really glad that some of you are able to find comfort in it, but at the same time i never imagined that this video would have to comfort people because something like this happened …
if any of you need to talk or just want to share how you feel, please feel free to do so here. we’re all going through this together!
but one thing I want to say clearly: any hate towards heeseung will not be tolerated. heeseung and the members are the ones suffering the most in this situation, and they deserve support, not blame. please remember that.
even though we want to cry (and trust me, i did 😔), we need to stay strong and support them. there are still so many questions and we deserve clarity. it’s still possible to change the situation.

#enhypen #heeseung #ENHYPEN_is_7

7 months ago | [YT] | 10