𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

July 4th, 2024.
The day I opened this channel.
Wow. It’s been longer than two years.
I opened this channel for a specific reason: to post
k-pop videos for fun and maybe, one day, monetize my channel and earn some money from it.
I remember feeling so nervous. I thought people wouldn’t like me or my channel. I was scared that I’d never become popular or appreciated. But of course, I didn’t give up. I kept posting.
Every milestone I reached felt so exciting to me. You have no idea how happy and proud I felt every time I reached a new milestone.
And then came my ktube friends.
At first, I thought it would just be casual conversations and nothing deep. The fact that I could actually become attached to people online never even crossed my mind.
But then I started making friends. Multiple friends.
And every time someone commented, “Hey, wanna be friends?” I felt so happy. So proud.
At first, it really was just casual. Commenting on each other’s channels, liking videos, watching lives. But eventually, it got deeper.
I opened my Pinterest account and followed each one of my friends. I started talking to them daily. And honestly? It was so much fun.
At that time, I didn’t really have many friends in real life to talk to or spend time with. So making friends online and talking to them every day became something I genuinely looked forward to.
I remember how excited I used to be while coming home from school, just so I could open my phone and start yapping with my ktube friends.
Yes, I was very happy and carefree.
But sadly, there were also times when I wasn’t happy at all.
Times when I fought with my ktube friends. Times when my grades started dropping completely. Times when I barely interacted with anyone in real life.
It’s lowkey funny how many times I cried because of those fights. Ngl, it’s embarrassing now that I think about it. Like, imagine crying over a single fight that would’ve probably been solved anyway.
I remember how much I hated myself and felt unwanted. I used to blame myself for everything, cry whenever someone said something hurtful, and genuinely struggle with my mental health.
My grades were dropping because I spent all day making videos or talking to my ktube friends. I remember having plenty of homework to do but continuing to talk anyway, only stopping when they said they had to go.
I barely talked to anyone in real life. I constantly picked up my phone to see if someone had texted me or if the video I posted had gotten many views.
So yeah.
Ktube and online friendships gave me both happiness and pain.
But I just couldn’t remove them from my life. Because at the time, it was my only escape. My boring life’s only purpose.
I literally felt useless without ktube.
But then, I started growing up. Maturing.
I started making friends in real life. I began paying more attention to my own life and school. I started enjoying life more. I started loving myself.
And eventually, I realized something.
You know what?
I’m amazing.
I’m literally amazing.
Call me selfish or self-centered, bro, I don’t care. I’m pretty, I’m smart, I’m cute, I’m charismatic, I’m kind, I’m sweet, I’m funny, I’m talkative, I’m creative, I’m lovable, and I’m ME.
If I don’t love myself, who will?
If I don’t respect myself and put myself first sometimes, who will?
I’m my own best friend. I’m my own home. I’m the only person in this life who will never leave me.
Friends and relationships come and go.
But me? I’ll stay. I’ll love myself. I’ll respect myself.
I’m my biggest supporter and my biggest protector.
I’m the main character of my own life.
So why should I feel useless without ktube when I’m such a great person?
Why should I cry when someone leaves when I can simply close the door behind them and protect my heart?
I hate saying this, but ktube and K-pop eventually sucked the life and the joy out of me. I became addicted to making videos, spending time with my online friends, and posting constantly.
After I stopped for a while, I realized something.
My life was actually okay. Great, even.
I started making more friends, enjoying my life, and appreciating the world outside of K-pop and ktube.
And no matter how much it hurts to say this, I feel like ktube was both one of the best and one of the worst decisions of my life.
It was fun. Unforgettable.
But it also affected my mental health, my school life, and the way I saw myself.
I’ll never say that opening this channel was a bad decision, though.
Because no matter how much it affected me, it was my escape. My fun experience. My chance to express myself and connect with people.
I’m genuinely glad I opened this channel and made friends online. It gave me so many memories that I’ll never forget.
But now, I have to let go.
No matter how nostalgic it feels, I have to move on.
Because our lives aren’t only about K-pop and ktube.
Our lives shouldn’t feel boring just because we’re not constantly consuming K-pop content or talking to online friends.
There is so much more to life.
And I’m finally ready to experience it.
I’m thankful to each and every one of my supporters and my friends.
I’m even thankful to the people who hurt me, because every experience taught me something.
Y’all taught me lessons I’ll carry with me for a long time.

I’m officially unstanning K-pop and leaving this account.
I won’t delete it, but I won’t be posting anymore.
Thank you so much for everything.
Thank you for the memories, the conversations, the laughs, the support, and even the difficult moments.
I’ll always appreciate what this channel gave me🫂

Let me tag my loves one last time:
‪@kpopukiyo‬ ​⁠‪@k-goldstan‬ ‪@mashimallovv‬ ​⁠‪@evvanize‬ ‪@Sooya_struck‬ ‪@hoonphic‬ ‪@youronlychae‬ ‪@soulstruck6‬ ‪@flwrluna.ৎ‬ ‪@uronlyasaa‬ ‪@unknownuser-j5k‬ ‪@Amorrei-FP‬ ‪@9wice_sparkle‬ ‪@minjisabelle3‬ ‪@dollyyiaaa‬ @you

Lia is officially signing out. Byeee.
Love you all 🥹🩷

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 22

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I don’t want this to come across as me seeking attention, because that’s not what this is.

The fact that none of my ktube friends wished me a happy birthday honestly hurt me more than I expected. I’m not saying anyone had to wish me, it’s your own choice.
What hurts is that I always tried to make birthday videos and posts for the people I considered close friends because I genuinely wanted to make them happy. So seeing nothing in return was really disappointing.
I know people get busy, and I understand that. But even a simple “Happy birthday, Lia” would’ve meant a lot to me.
Because of that, I’m going to private or delete the birthday videos and posts I made. I’m not doing it out of anger or to make anyone feel guilty, I’m just hurt, and right now they don’t feel the same to me anymore.
That’s all I wanted to say.

1 month ago | [YT] | 11

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Happy birthday to me ❤️
—and yes, no one remembered it :)

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 653

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

ITS MY SOOYA’s BIRTHDAYYY🥹🩷
Happy birthday to the sweetest, kindest girlie I know. You’re one of those people who came into my life and left a mark that I know will never fade.
I genuinely don’t understand what kind of magic you have over me. Something about talking to you feels so comforting, healing, calming. With you, I know I’d never be judged or hurt. I love how we get each other from just one word. I love how everything feels so easy with you. I don’t know how you do it, but you somehow always manage to make me feel better. Like… are you secretly a therapist or something?😭
You’re such a pure soul and I’m so grateful to have someone like you in my life.
I have many friends, many people around me, but not many of them hold such a place in my heart like you do. I genuinely don’t know how to describe you. Should I call you a sweet girl? An angel? A little sister? What should I call you if you’re literally everything combined?😭🩷
You’re someone I could never forget. Someone I could never replace. You’ve always made my days easier, happier, brighter. Talking to you somehow always puts a smile on my face. I still remember all the conversations we had. The times I texted you while crying, feeling completely helpless… and somehow ended up laughing five minutes later. Yes, Sooya, you’re THAT magical. I should start charging you for therapy sessions at this point.
I want you to know that I’m always here for you too. I want to heal you the way you healed me. Make you laugh the way you made me laugh. Hold your hand and walk you through dark paths. Be the shoulder you cry on. (But not literally every day because my shoulder might get tired. I’m kidding. Come here😭🫂)
And today is YOUR day. The day of my little sister. The day of my angel. So you better celebrate it well!! And even if you don’t… that’s okay too. Just promise me you’ll smile today, okay? Be happy. Let yourself enjoy today because you deserve absolutely everything good this world has to offer.
I wish you nothing but happiness, love, good health, and all your dreams coming true. I hope this year is even kinder to you than the last because if anyone deserves it, it’s you.
Thank you for existing. Seriously. Life would’ve been a little less colorful if I had never met you.
I adore you so, so much, sweetheart. Have the happiest birthday ever. Sending you manyyyyy hugs🫂🥹🩷

‪@Sooya_struck‬

Skip the Carousel

1 2

2 months ago | [YT] | 22

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

what’s your favorite k-pop maknae?

2 months ago | [YT] | 51

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I’ve decided to pick one from these groups to post about: ITZY, IVE, ILLIT, LE SSERAFIM & AESPA.
But I can’t decide. At the moment I’m thinking Ive because I do enjoy making content about them, I love their music but I’m still stuck sooo…😭🤷‍♀️

I don’t know why YouTube didn’t let me do a poll so I’m posting it like this for you guys to comment which group’s content you would like to see.
I’ll be waiting🫶🏼

Skip the Carousel

1 2 3 4 5

3 months ago | [YT] | 86

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I need your opinions 🤍
I’ve been debating whether I should come back, and if I do, I want to know what you’d actually like to see from me.
So tell me: which girl groups would you like me to post about? (Please don’t say BABYMONSTER or KATSEYE, I’ve posted them a lot already and want to try something different)
I might focus on just one group, or maybe a few depending on your suggestions.
If you read this post, please leave a reaction.
Thank you 🤍

3 months ago | [YT] | 27

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Hello my people🫶🏼
Just wanted to let you all know that I’ll be inactive til June 25th. After that, I’ll decide whether I’m coming back or quitting completely, and I’ll make sure to update you guys when the time comes.

Thank you for all the support, love, and moments we’ve shared here. I truly appreciate every single one of you more than you know. Please take care of yourselves while I’m gone, and I hope everything goes well for you all.

See you soon maybe. Thank you again🫶🏼

4 months ago | [YT] | 43

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

what’s your favorite kpop company?
for me it’s JYPE ENTERTAINMENT.

4 months ago | [YT] | 8

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

A lot has been happening in my life these past months, and honestly I don’t really know what’s going to happen with this channel anymore. I might keep it, I might move to TikTok or somewhere else, or I might just stop completely. I genuinely don’t know right now.
Lately I’ve been really mentally exhausted and overwhelmed, and I just don’t have the motivation or energy for any of this at the moment.
I’ll definitely be inactive for a while. Maybe I’ll come back, maybe I won’t, I’m still figuring things out.
Thank you for everything and for everyone who supported me here. It really means a lot <3🤍

4 months ago | [YT] | 15