Hi, I'm Trelynda, and welcome to Caregiver*ish.
If you've ever felt like you're doing your best while making it up as you go...you're in the right place.
This channel is a little bit caregiving, a little bit gardening, two mischievous Yorkies named Baxter and Bear, plenty of Oklahoma life, and the occasional well-earned glass of wine.
I'm a full-time caregiver for my mom, who's living with Alzheimer's. Some days are funny, some are heartbreaking, and most are somewhere in between. Along the way, I've learned that life doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful.
Here you'll find honest stories, everyday adventures, garden projects, puppy chaos, real conversations, and reminders that it's okay to laugh—even on the hard days.
So grab a cup of coffee...or a glass of wine...and come hang out with us.
Welcome to Caregiver*ish.
Life. Caregiving. Wine. Chaos.
Caregiver*ish
Nobody really talks about what caregiving does to a marriage.
Not because the marriage is bad.
Not because anybody stopped loving anybody.
But because when one person becomes a full-time caregiver, the relationship changes.
In my case, my wife and I are married — but for much of this caregiving chapter, we've essentially been living separate lives.
I'm here taking care of Mom. She's there living her life and dealing with everything that comes with that. We talk. We love each other. We're still us.
But caregiving takes up an enormous amount of space.
Your time isn't really yours anymore. Plans depend on whether someone can stay with the person you're caring for. A spontaneous weekend isn't spontaneous. Dinner out isn't simple. Even a phone conversation can get interrupted because Mom needs something.
And somewhere along the way, your partner can start getting whatever is left of you.
That's a hard sentence to write.
Because it isn't intentional.
The person you're caring for has needs that can't wait. Your partner often can wait.
So they do.
And then they wait some more.
Meanwhile, the caregiver can start thinking, Can't you see how much I'm already carrying?
And the partner may be thinking, Do you even see me anymore?
Neither one has to be the bad guy.
That's the part I think we don't talk about enough.
Caregiving doesn't just happen to the caregiver and the person receiving care. It happens to relationships. Marriages. Friendships. Families.
I don't have a neat little solution for this one. I'm still living it.
But I do think saying it out loud matters:
You can love the person you're caring for and love your partner — and still struggle to have enough of yourself left for both.
I'd really like to hear from other caregivers about this one. Has caregiving changed your marriage or relationship? And if you're the partner of a caregiver, what has it been like from your side?
Caregiver*ish
Life. Caregiving. Wine. Chaos.
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
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Caregiver*ish
The loneliness of being the strong one.
I read something this morning that stopped me in my tracks.
When you're the primary caregiver, everybody seems to think you're the strong one.
You're the one who handles it. You know what needs to happen next. You answer the questions. You make the decisions. You keep going because...well, who else is going to do it?
But here's the part I don't think people understand:
Being the strong one can be incredibly lonely.
You can have people who love you. You can have friends. You can be married. You can have people asking, “How's your mom?”
And still feel completely alone.
Because most of the time, the question is about the person you're caring for.
How is she doing? Did she sleep? Is she eating? What did hospice say?
All important questions.
But sometimes I wonder how many caregivers are quietly waiting for someone to ask:
“But how are YOU doing?”
And then actually stick around long enough to hear the answer.
I don't have some inspirational lesson to wrap this up with. That's not really what Caregiver*ish is about.
I just know that sometimes the person everyone thinks is the strongest person in the room may also be the loneliest.
If that's you today, I see you.
Caregiver*ish
Life. Caregiving. Wine. Chaos
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
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Caregiver*ish
Today's caregiver check-in:
How are YOU doing today?
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
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Caregiver*ish
BE THE VILLAGE ❤️
I saw someone say, “If we can survive caregiving without a village, we can survive anything.”
My first thought was: Why should we have to?
One of my hopes for Caregiver*ish is that this becomes more than a place where I share my caregiving story. I'd love for it to become a community where caregivers share experiences, encourage each other and maybe even find ways to help one another in real life.
Maybe the village starts with people we already know — friends, neighbors, Facebook friends and friends of friends — who would gladly help if they knew what we actually needed.
So I'm curious:
If you're a caregiver, what is ONE thing someone could do that would genuinely make your life easier?
❤️ Caregiver*ish
2 months ago | [YT] | 0
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