Zap Crusty

Hey guys, it’s me again. I want to start off by giving my apologies to people who were worried about me concerning my previous post where it was stated that “I felt like disappearing”. I didn’t know why I did it, but the best way I can explain it was that I wasn’t thinking straight at that moment and as a result just wrote what I thought.

I’m not going to go deeper into the details of what has been going on recently since it’s not fitting for a post like this one, nor do I want to bring any burden to any sensitive people who are reading this. I’ll try and keep this info objective to the situation where I felt like I wanted to disappear.

The only details I can give on the situation is that I felt burnt out. There are mainly two reasons as to why. First was school, which was throwing tons of exams in my face last week which gave me little to no free-time. Second was productivity-loss and no energy to make things like music or art. In fact, as some of you might remember from another post, I’m thinking of pulling a John Deacon on music-making since 1) I was never really good at it, and 2) it was not as fun as it used to be.

As mentioned before, the further reasons as to why I felt like disappearing, but I’m not going into them further. I prefer talking them out to people like my counselor or someone of my trust. I hope you guys understand.

2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 5

Zap Crusty

I feel like disappearing.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 6

Zap Crusty

I’d just like to thank you so much for the support on the last video. It was truly astonishing to see and it means the world to me.

1 month ago | [YT] | 8

Zap Crusty

I’m on the edge of putting music making on the shelf right now.

2 months ago | [YT] | 1

Zap Crusty

I hope there to be a new video next week. Stay tuned.

2 months ago | [YT] | 2

Zap Crusty

Hello everyone. Today is the 68th birthday of the fantastical King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

I gotta say, he was truly an amazing person with the purest heart of all, and I didn’t expect myself to get into him this much this year lol. Ya see, I had never really been that huge of a fan of him before and I rarely ever thought of him. It was when I began transferring Dad’s old vinyl records in January when I found Michael’s album ”Thriller” just sitting there, practically yelling my name, and after that I just succumbed to his music. I listened to all his albums, thought about him consistently, watched the biopic, read about him and found things I didn’t even know he was capable of! Like beatboxing.

Out of nowhere, I just grew obsessed with this man, and I’m glad I did. He was truly ahead of his time and he has inspired me a ton plus helped me get through times where I felt like I had nobody. And I gotta say, things weren’t the best on his side either:
His extremely abusive father, his lost childhood, body dysphoria, Pepsi incident in 1984 and eventual pain medication addiction, the reckless tabloids, child molestation accusations in 1993, the trial in 2005, dying alone and depressed being drugged by his doctor… It was just tragedy after tragedy. Makes me sick knowing how we treated him when he was alive. And I know he’s not here to see this, but I still have to say that his time on Earth was otherworldly and his music, plus the messages he conveyed through that music, has made an impact for so many people, including me. I have no idea where I’d be if it weren’t for him.

So today, in honor of and in memory for him, here is a drawing of him where he performed ”Human Nature” at the Wembley Stadium in 1988.

Truly, thank you for everything, Michael. You’re a blessing! <3

2 months ago | [YT] | 12

Zap Crusty

The long and good summer vacation is over and now school has started again. Waaaa

2 months ago | [YT] | 4

Zap Crusty

August 29th is coming soon, which is the birthday of a very special person I look up to a ton. For that day I have planned to make a drawing of him and a cover of one of his songs, but I don’t know about that last one since I fear that I can’t do it, because I simply don’t have the time. I will make the drawing though, that’s for sure.

(Also, sorry for the lack of videos. Some stuff has been going on in the last time.)

2 months ago | [YT] | 2

Zap Crusty

I hate how impulsive I can be all the time... It's quite hard.

3 months ago | [YT] | 3