Queer Collective

Hello my loves! We're back again asking for YOUR input. We have an upcoming episode chatting about Lesbophobia & lesbians throughout history who defied and fought against stereotypes!

We will be joined by a Professor of lesbian studies & women's history as well as a BIPOC Lesbian life coach.

If you feel comfortable sharing & having your experience spoken about on the show, we would love to hear your experiences with Lesbophobia IRL (please include where you're from for context).

We also welcome you to submit questions for our guests & any historical figures you want us to showcase.

xo,


Em & Karbon

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 224

Queer Collective

Hey friends! We're talking staying friends with exes & we want your thoughts!

in an upcoming episode we will be sharing our experience with staying friends after dating for 6 years. We'll also be joined by a couples therapist to help answer questions and give advice on how we can all navigate the complexities of staying friends after a breakup.

What do you want us to cover in the episode? What challenges have you experienced that have kept you from staying friends with an ex or made it more challenging? Are you pro or against staying friends after a breakup (and why!).

We love when you all share your personal stories & questions, they often make them onto the show! xo

1 month ago | [YT] | 132

Queer Collective

Hey cuties, We're working on an episode covering stories of Ancient Trans History following the theme of transness being seen as spiritual & divine. We’re having on a trans historian to tell these stories!

But we want to know your thoughts....How do these stories make you feel? Do they give you purpose & meaning or perhaps do they put transness on an unhealthy pedestal? Either way we would love to hear your thoughts & what you want us to discuss in the episode.

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1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 138

Queer Collective

Hi to our friends & community.

Recently a collection of our new clips & snippets from our old full length videos have caused folks in the lgbtq+ community to raise concern about lesbophobia & trans misogyny. We would like to address both separate situations.


Regarding the concerns about trans misogyny

Recently, we’ve been criticized for the way we talked about trans women and socialization. We first want to say thank you to the folks who took the time to kindly explain things in comments. We now absolutely understand how saying trans women were “socialized as men,” even when we meant they may have been perceived or treated that way by society before transitioning, is harmful language.

It can imply that trans women were formed as men, that their womanhood is conditional or that the misgendering they experienced is somehow the truth of who they are, not to mention that trans women are forced into gender roles that feel deeply uncomfortable and are punished or endangered for not complying, which create a unique experience of socialization.

That is not what we meant or what we believe, but we can see how hearing that wording on a queer podcast that you assumed was a safe space was triggering, It is the language of terfs and we 100% won’t be using that wording going forward. We deeply apologize to every one of our listeners that this upset.

Regardless, We want to be SUPER CLEAR, We believe trans women are WOMEN and we advocate that with our full chests. We’ve done specific videos on trans misogyny & on trans lesbians. In addition to many other trans specific topics.

Some clips circulating remove important context but we also understand that impact matters beyond intent. Even in fuller context we can see places where our wording was imprecise, careless or harmful.

We will be far more cautious about how we word things going forward. We’ve since taken down our video on trans history and are committed to redoing it in a way that we can feel proud of that feels affirming to the community. Sending love to all our trans siblings.


Regarding concerns about lesbophobia

We also want to respond to the criticism around how we’ve talked about lesbian identity

In that conversation, we were sharing stories we had heard from people who identify as lesbians and have had occasional experiences with men. Our intention was not to suggest that lesbians secretly desire men. What we were trying to express was that we do not want to be the identity police. We still believe people’s relationships to identity can be complicated and personal. But we also understand that when stories about lesbians and men are discussed without enough care, they can reinforce the lesbophobic narratives that lesbians are forced to fight against. I.e you just haven’t met the right man, etc.

We agree that a lesbian is someone who experiences zero attracted to cis men. And we have been advocating a lot on our page for homo romantic and gay leaning bisexuals to identify as such (pls continue flooding the market with bisexuality). What I want to flag for people is the personal complexities that may cause someone to identify as a lesbian who isn’t. both Sexual trauma with men and internalized biphobia can be huge contributing factors and everyone’s journey with their own identity is unique and often confusing. For some people you need to try on a label to know if it feels right for you.

Regardless, We 100% hear these valid concerns. And we will approach this topic with more care going forward to ensure we hold both realities at once.


A Message moving forward:

We are always open to constructive feedback and critique from our listeners and community. Those who have been following us for a while hopefully know this.

Our page has always been a co-creation between us, our guests and our listeners. We don’t claim to know EVERYTHING about queerness. That would be impossible mainly because of how quickly our language evolves. Our show is us curiously learning from a mix of academic sources & from Toronto queer community leaders with personal experiences & academics.

Our mission has always been to share stories from every subgroup of the queer community with the goal of fostering more allyship and understanding within.

Our goal is never to cause more infighting. We truly try to provide balanced and researched opinions with the goal of giving nuance and new perspectives.

Sometimes we get it wrong. We appreciate all the feedback we’ve gotten. It would be impossible to reply to EVERYTHING but we are taking it all into account as we move forward.

If you like the podcast and at any point are disappointed in a take, know that we do listen and want to hear your voice but please remember we are human beings with nervous systems. Do so kindly and just explain your perspective.

2 months ago | [YT] | 547

Queer Collective

GIVEAWAY!!! We want to send 8 Canadian cuties out on a movie date to see Leviticus. Comment who you'd want to take with you for a chance to win 2 tickets.

Leviticus is the new highly praised queer coming of age romantic supernatural horror film!!

2 months ago | [YT] | 284

Queer Collective

Hi lovers! We're working on an episode about romantic/sexual relationships between lesbians and bisexuals. The tension, the history, the positives. I want to hear your personal experiences & what you'd like us to talk about in the comments!

3 months ago | [YT] | 2,631

Queer Collective

Hey Friends! We're working on an episode about Neurodivergent sex & dating. We will be digging into first hand experiences of ADHD & Autism alongside a couples therapist that specializes in neurodivergence. We would love to hear what topics you want us to cover & what questions you may have. xo

4 months ago | [YT] | 613

Queer Collective

New episode just dropped on a very SCANDALOUS topic that the YT algorithm is guna HATE so pls go watch & comment to save us 😅😭

4 months ago | [YT] | 280

Queer Collective

Hi friends! We're working on an episode where we're interviewing Queer elders (65+), & we want to hear from YOU. What topics do you want covered & what do you want us to ask them. xo

We are also currently casting for Elder Queers in Toronto, so if you or someone you know is 65+ with an interesting story to tell & advice for younger generations comment or email us directly hello@queercollectiveto.com

5 months ago | [YT] | 1,156

Queer Collective

Hi loves ❤️, we’re so sorry that we’ve been gone. We came back from vacation and immediately got extreamly sick and were unable to record. We’re catching up now and are going to make up for it with two back to back episodes on Thursday March 26th and April 2nd.

6 months ago | [YT] | 413