The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Beyond the basics. Recommended by therapists worldwide, The Little Shaman's YouTube channel about narcissists and narcissism. Author of 'Transrelational Healing' and the 'On Narcissists' series. Helping you understand and heal from toxic relationships. Appointments and consultations available. www.littleshaman.org


The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

A cat can have kittens. That doesn’t make her a good mother, though arguably many cats are better mothers than many people.

1 month ago | [YT] | 22

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Just saying.

1 month ago | [YT] | 217

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

It is arrogance and entitlement, certainly. But that's not all it is. Not by a long shot.

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The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Hey everybody,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've been busy taking care of some family business the past few weeks but everything is OK and I will return to putting up content very soon. Don't forget! There are over 800 videos on this channel; there may be some you've not heard yet.

I'm very grateful for the support I've received and just wanted to let everyone know that things are OK. Hope you are all doing as well as you can be. Stay strong. You have a whole community of people who understand. ❤

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 329

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

What would happen if a narcissist unknowingly prayed [sic] on a psychopath?

In this arena, the garden variety non-psychopathic narcissist is an anxiety-riddled pretender.

I once read a news article about a terrible case in Russia in which a group of young goth people tried to hang out with (self-proclaimed) devil worshipers. The devil worshipers killed these young people and ate them.

This is a similar dynamic. The narcissist is a kid playing dress-up who does not really understand what they are dealing with or the danger they are actually in at all. The narcissist is very fragile, wounded very easily and relies on manipulating people's emotions and better natures to get what they want/to protect themselves. Psychopaths cannot be manipulated this way.

The narcissist has no weapons in this fight at all. They will be eaten easily.

From The Little Shaman on Quora: qr.ae/pFow6g

3 months ago | [YT] | 75

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Setting and enforcing boundaries protects you from manipulation because the end result of enforcing your boundaries with someone who does not respect them is that you no longer interact with this person at all. They also protect you by identifying these people earlier so you can stop engaging with them.

If you continue to engage with the person, then no. If you do that, nothing will protect you. Instead of trying to find safe ways to interact with an unsafe person, why not just face the reality that they are unsafe and stay away from them? That's how you protect yourself.

As an aside, many people don't understand what boundaries are or how they're supposed to work. It's not like you say to an abuser, “I don't like this behavior” and that's a magic phrase that stops them in their tracks.

People say, “I stated my boundaries but it didn't matter because they just kept being abusive.” Well, right. That's probably going to happen because if they understood boundaries, they wouldn't be abusive in the first place. That's not how boundaries work. You can't control other people, so stop trying to do that. It doesn't work.

Boundaries are for and about you. They are about what you will do and how you will respond when someone does not respect you. Stating your boundaries shows you who is not interested in respecting you. Then it is time for you to take action. That is how boundaries work.

From The Little Shaman on Quora: qr.ae/pFowzs

3 months ago | [YT] | 98

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

How narcissistic supply works.

3 months ago | [YT] | 163

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

From several years ago. You might not have seen it.

3 months ago | [YT] | 10

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Q: What's the science behind why people miss the "illusion" created by a narcissist?

A: People are not really missing the illusion of the narcissist. Not really. What people really fall in love with is the idealized image of themselves that the narcissist helps make tangible for them. If you listen when people describe what they liked about the narcissist when they first met them, it’s almost never anything aboutthe narcissist themselves. It’s always stuff about how the narcissist treated them and did for them and said to them and made them feel.

That is what people miss: the illusion that they themselves were so important and desired. In reality, it often has nothing to do with the narcissist at all. Which makes sense, because there is nothing really to these personalities.

Much more information that discusses the science + functions involved:

How Your Brain Reacts To Narcissists [DEEP DIVE] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zztY7...


From The Little Shaman on Quora: qr.ae/pFF71H

3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 12

The Little Shaman: On Narcissists

Q: Why are narcissists so alluring and magnetic?

They’re not, really. The reality of narcissists is that they are 2D personas and usually quite boring after you’ve heard every story or funny punchline they’ve memorized and recycled 400 times.

Narcissists are mimics. They seem to have a mental Rolodex of interesting topics or opinions, quotes, etc. that they have collected from others, from TV shows, from movies, etc. that they use - and use up - pretty quickly with people; after that, they don’t really have much to contribute at all. They are like an unplugged television set: just sitting there.

They do often appear alluring and magnetic, and a lot of this is due not just to their affected 2D persona (that legitimately doesn’t last long) but because they are emotionally unavailable to an extreme, and for people who have been conditioned by emotionally unavailable caregivers, or other important relationships, this is often irresistible. For others, the narcissist appears to be a wounded soul who needs love and care. This is even more irresistible.

It’s significant, too, that people often describe their initial perception of the narcissist as their “dream man” or “dream girl.” A dream partner is a fantasy. That’s why they are referred to that way: because they don’t exist. The fact that a fantasy appears to be real is very powerful. This often happens in conjunction with the idealization phase of the realization, which includes lovebombing, which is also fantasy. When the idealized (fantasy) version of us that the narcissist holds and reacts to lines up with the idealized (fantasy) version we hold of ourselves - even unconsciously or perhaps especially unconsciously, this is extremely powerful.


From The Little Shaman on Quora: qr.ae/pKJRpc

3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 18